It sucks to waste your money and your time on bad movies. Of course, your individual enjoyment is subjective, but here are five films in theaters this week that were panned by critics — either our own or reviewers from elsewhere on the Internet.
Nostalgia can only get you so far. If you were to take the well-known arcade icons out of Pixels and replace them with generic characters you would be left with a bland, illogical mess of a sci-fi movie. Our Britton Peele gave it a C-; read his full review here. Rated PG-13.
This paint-by-numbers crime drama stars Adrien Brody as an ex-con who drags his younger brother (Hayden Christensen) into a bank heist. Brad Wheeler of Toronto’s Globe and Mail says: “American Heist, I want my 94 minutes back.” Rated R.
The Vatican Tapes
Skip this contrived demonic-possession movie shot in found-footage style. Although some critics (including Variety’s Justin Chang) think it’s schlocky enough to be entertaining, the consensus is that it’s over-the-top and second-rate. Rated R.
Unlike its enjoyable predecessor Despicable Me, Minions tends to be boring and rather shallow, even by the standards of children’s movies. You can read our two-person review of the movie here. Rated PG.
The amateur footage gimmick wears thin in this muddled, high school-set horror movie. The New York Times says, “The Gallows starts with a decent if improbable premise, and it ends with a pretty good jolt. But in between, the film sure wears out the already tired found-footage device.” Rated R.